Meds
by Happi Zebra
Summary: Songfic to Meds by Placebo, one-shot, ReillyxJeb implied.


_I was alone, Falling free,  
Trying my best not to forget  
What happened to us,  
What happened to me,  
What happened as I let it slip. _

Jeb shook himself, picking up the test tube he'd been neglecting, he couldn't keep letting his memories affect his work like this, the Director had been livid when she'd found out how he'd raised the Flock. They were meant to be beaten down; she expected them to be submissive, docile, not fighting tooth and nail with very last inch of their lives. He couldn't do this, he couldn't break them, he didn't do it though, that's why she's so mad, something's still wrong though; what is it? And why can't he _think_?

_I was confused by the powers that be,  
Forgetting names and places.  
Passers by were looking at me  
As if they could erase it  
_

Being back was the problem. This place had changed. Nothing was the same anymore, the Director had taken over his work and ideas completely, perverting them, making them _better_, she said. More profitable. More grotesque. Never beautiful. His son was the worst. Ari had been so shy, a sweet boy, he hadn't wanted to get him involved, wanted him to have a real life, not blinded by obsession like his father. Seeing him come back with Angel, nothing was left of his son. It hurt even to look at him. How could they have done this?

_Baby did you forget to take your meds? _

Jeb stared blankly at the blinking monitor, he jolted back to himself as he realised the voice wasn't just in his head.

"Batche, did you forget to take your meds?"

Reilly. Irritating waif. It's not 'Batche' it's, "Batchelder, Reilly, have some respect," Reilly smiled but put on a chastened expression, it made him look almost... sweet, wait what? No, stop that, he asked something...

"So did you?" Reilly rattled a bottle knowingly, "Anti-depressants, eh? These things kill your sex drive, you know?"

Jeb blushed and snatched back the bottle, slipping it behind the monitor and out of sight. "Yes, well, that isn't really a concern now, is it?" he shot at him, thinking bitterly at how involved he'd become with his work, the periods of numbness, the memories. He watched in shock as brief flicker of emotion made its way across Reilly's face before he fixed his friendly, easy-going facade back in place.

_I was alone,  
Staring over the ledge,  
Trying my best not to forget  
All manner of joy  
All manner of glee  
And our one heroic pledge  
_  
No one here was left to him, sure there was Reilly, he'd been here back when Jeb still ran things, not that it was that long ago. It seemed like a lifetime. It didn't matter that he'd defied the Director, he'd do it again if it meant the Flock's well-being. Maybe they would have been better off docile. They wouldn't get hurt as much... but he'd have had to hurt them, make them terrified, he couldn't have done that.

_How it mattered to us,  
How it mattered to me,  
And the consequences _

Reilly hadn't wanted him to leave, not for the Flock, but then Reilly had always hated them. For him, they represented Jeb's obsession, the downfall of the School, or at least how it was. They marked the changes, they were the bait the Director dangled, loyalty for your precious Flock; how could he have refused? Jeb loved them.

_I was confused,  
By the birds and the bees  
Forgetting if I meant it _

Jeb stared at Reilly. Maybe for too long. He blinked, snapping out of his thoughts again, Reilly was his only real connection to this place now. None of the other experiments mattered. They were all so horribly practical. He'd wanted to make beautiful things. Even the Erasers – genetically programmed for beauty – had been corrupted by what the Director had done. Made them savage, made Ari brutish, destroyed everything that was important to him.

_Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds? _

"Jeb? Come on, Jeb, talk to me; are you going to take them?" The amusement was gone and Reilly was looking at him with concern, it was no secret Jeb wasn't at the peak of his sanity, the depression had taken hold quite soundly since the orders went out for Angel to be captured.

"No," Jeb said absently, running his hands through his hair. A nervous gesture. "I wouldn't want to lose my sex drive,"

Reilly's lips parted in surprise, a less comical 'jaw drop,' he stared at Jeb, debating the meaning of his words, of that look.  
_  
And the Sex and the drugs and the complications  
And the Sex and the drugs and the complications  
And the Sex and the drugs and the complications  
And the Sex and the drugs and the complications _

"Why not, Jeb?"

_Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds?  
Baby did you forget to take your meds? _

He closed the distance, looking down at his mentor. "Why not?"

_I was alone,  
Falling free,  
Trying my best not to forget_

"Because I'm tired of being alone,"


End file.
